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Book excerpt: ‘The Let Them Theory’ by Mel Robbins

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Hay House

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Mel Robbins’ podcasts, TED Talk and bestselling books, including “The 5 Second Rule,” have made her one of the most successful motivational speakers.

In her latest bestseller, “The Let Them Theory” (Hay House), she discusses how personal growth is only possible when you stop pouring energy into things you cannot control – which includes changing other people.

Read an excerpt below, and don’t miss Norah O’Donnell’s conversation with Mel Robbins on “CBS Sunday Morning” February 1!

“The Let Them Theory” by Mel Robbins

Prefer to listen? Audible has a 30-day free trial available right now.

I’ve spent the last two years researching the Let Them Theory: why it works, and how you can use it to transform your life and improve your relationships with other people.

In writing this book, I’ve spoken to many of the world’s leading experts in psychology, neuroscience, behavioral science, relationships, stress, and happiness. You’ll meet them as you read the book, and their research will help you apply the theory in countless situations in your life. As you’ll soon see, the science is clear: This thing works. And it works really well.

But this book isn’t just about introducing you to the Let Them Theory. It’s about a fundamental law of human nature: All human beings have a hardwired need for control.

We all have an innate desire to control everything about our lives: our time, our thoughts, our actions, our environment, our plans, our future, our decisions, and our surroundings. Feeling in control makes you feel comfortable and safe, so naturally you try to control everyone and everything around you—oftentimes, without even realizing it. 

But the fact is, there is one thing you will never be able to control. No matter how hard you try, you will never be able to control or change another person. The only person you are in control of is you. Your thoughts, your actions, your feelings.

For too long you’ve been working against this fundamental law of human nature. You’ve been fighting to change people, battling to control situations, worrying about what people say, think, or do; and in doing so, you’ve created unnecessary stress, tension, and friction for yourself and in your relationships. I did too.

The Let Them Theory has transformed my entire approach to life and how I deal with other people. Instead of resisting the natural flow of human nature, I learned to embrace it. Instead of wasting my energy on something I can’t control—what others say, think, and do—I poured my energy into what I can control: me.

The result? I gained more control over my own life than I have ever had before. It was freeing. I stopped making other people the problem, and in doing so, my relationships improved in ways I never thought possible. It was like unlocking a door that had been sealed shut for years. And behind it? A life where I’m no longer weighed down by the need to manage other people.

In the coming pages, you’ll learn all about the theory, the easiest way to start using it, and how awesome it feels when you do. You’ll also learn about a surprising discovery I made early in our research. The Let Them Theory isn’t just … Let Them. Yes, it begins with these two words, but that’s not the whole story. Let Them is just the first half of the equation. There is a second, even more crucial step to this theory: Let Me.

In the next chapter, we’ll unpack both Let Them and Let Me and explore the science and psychology behind each one of the two steps. Then, you’ll learn about the eight core areas of your life where the theory will have the biggest positive impact. We’ll talk about your relationships, career, emotions, opinions, stress, love life, struggles, chronic comparison, friendship, and most importantly, your relationship with yourself. 

Over and over, you’ll learn how you’ve been trying to control the wrong things and unknowingly made other people a problem. The truth is, other people should be one of the greatest sources of happiness, support, and love in your life. But they can’t be if you keep trying to control what they feel, say, and do. That ends with this book.

Master the Let Them Theory, and you’ll stop exhausting yourself trying to control the uncontrollable. This isn’t just about feeling better. It’s about redesigning how you live your entire life. I can’t wait for you to discover the space and freedom to experience your life the way you’ve always wanted—on your terms.

Let’s begin.

     
From “The Let Them Theory” by Mel Robbins. Copyright © 2024 by Mel Robbins. All rights reserved. This excerpt, or any parts thereof, may not be reproduced without permission.

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“The Let Them Theory” by Mel Robbins

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How Canada’s retaliation could hurt American businesses and consumers

By CNN
(CNN) — Canada has a number of arrows in its quiver as it prepares to retaliate against the United States, and they could land hit American consumers and businesses.Already, Ottawa has vowed to match Washington’s latest tariffs dollar for dollar. But Canada also has other tools at its disposal, including restrictions on key exports to the United States.Here’s what Canada could do next — and what each move could mean for Americans.The first move: tariffsCanada’s first move in the brewing trade war is likely to be a straightforward eye-for-an-eye response.Retaliatory tariffs “will be concentrated in sectors such as steel, dairy, appliances, agricultural equipment, pulp and paper, and electronics,” Prime Minister Mark Carney said over the weekend, adding that more details would be shared “in the coming days.”With the exception of steel, all of those industries are also covered by President Donald Trump’s new tariffs. Canada is an important market for US exporters in those sectors: Last year, it ranked as either the largest or second-largest destination for American exports across most of those industries, according to US trade data.Carney also said Canada is considering tariffs aimed at industries Trump has already targeted with separate duties, including cars, steel, aluminum, lumber and copper.The risk for Americans here is that steep Canadian tariffs could weaken demand for these goods, which could force employers to cut workers’ hours or, in some cases, resort to layoffs.The bigger weaponsTrump already signaled he may go beyond the latest tariffs in his trade fight with Canada, threatening on Monday to double tariffs on Canadian cars and auto parts to 50% starting January 1.If Trump follows through — or escalates in other ways — Ottawa could use other ammunition.Canada could restrict key exports to the US, such as energy and a key fertilizer ingredient known as potash, said Diamond Isinger, a policy strategist and former special advisor on Canada-US relations to Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.Another vulnerable area is electricity. Ford said in an interview published Monday that Canada should be prepared to cut off electricity exports to the United States if the trade war worsens, putting a potentially powerful weapon on the table. Ontario supplies electricity to several US states, including New York, Michigan and Minnesota.Carney echoed Ford on Monday, telling reporters that “nothing is off the table.”Any such moves could add to the price pressures Americans have faced this year. Altogether the cost of living is up 3.4% from a year ago, according to July Consumer Price Index data. Gas prices, up almost 25% compared to last year, have weighed heavily on consumers’ finances. The cost of powering homes is also up, with electricity and piped gas both costing around 4% more annually.How badly will it hurt?Tariffs could make it harder for US companies to sell their goods in Canada.Restrictions on energy, electricity or critical minerals, something Ford also floated, could instead raise costs for American companies and consumers by making key inputs more expensive or harder to obtain.For instance, last year, Ontario briefly applied a 25% surcharge on electricity imports to the United States. The Ontario government estimated at the time that it would affect 1.5 million American homes, costing up to $400,000 CAD (around $280,000 USD) “every day the surcharge remains in place.”Restrictions on these key Canadian goods could quickly be felt by US businesses and consumers, making it harder to stay afloat, Isinger said.The-CNN-Wire™ & © 2026 Cable News Network, Inc., a Warner Bros. Discovery Company. All rights reserved.
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