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Money Happens: What to do when becoming a homeowner feels out of reach

NEW YORK (AP) — Ever since graduating from high school, Tyler Jones hasn’t stopped working and doesn’t have any debt. Still, homeownership feels like an unattainable goal, only possible for past generations.

“Every time I get a paycheck, it’s all already spoken for,” said Jones, a 21-year-old who works at a deli and a nonprofit in Springfield, Massachusetts. Being a homeowner is one of Jones’ dreams, and his inability to save for it frustrates him.

Currently, 65% of working-age renters can’t cover their monthly expenses after paying for housing, according to an analysis from Harvard’s Joint Center for Housing Studies. Nearly half of all renters were cost-burdened by rent in 2024, that means they spent more than a third of their income on housing and utilities, which is based on data from the most recent census.

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EDITORS’ NOTE: The Money Happens series explores challenges and anxieties around money and offers helpful tips for dealing with them. Each episode features a case of an individual experiencing a challenging financial problem, whether it’s student loan or credit card debt, and an expert who can help provide strategies for working through these issues. You can listen to all of the episodes here.

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Anxiety about the possibility of never being able to own a house can make some people give up on organizing their finances altogether, said John Hankins, a certified financial therapist.

Sometimes “anxiety becomes kind of a self-perpetuating cycle,” he said.

If you hope to buy a house in the future but don’t know where to start, here are some expert tips for you:

1. Feel comfortable facing your finances

Getting a handle on your finances is the first step towards planning and achieving a financial goal. If you’re looking to buy a home in the future but that goal feels unattainable, start by figuring out how much money you’re bringing in, how much you’re spending, and where you can cut back to start saving.

For Jones, the anxiety of possibly being evicted from his current apartment because he lives paycheck to paycheck has been a barrier to making future plans for homeownership.

“I’d want to come back to this anxiety, this sadness that stopping him from getting his arms around his finances,” Hankins said.

Don’t let your anxieties stop you from facing your finances. The longer you avoid solving a financial worry, the longer it will take to solve it down the road.

2. Avoid debt if you can, but build a credit history

After watching his parents get into large amounts of debt and have to deal with the consequences, Jones has avoided any type of debt, including student loans and credit cards. But he needs to build a credit history to buy a home in the future.

Learning to find a middle ground between building credit and falling into credit card debt is key, Hankins said.

“Once you have a credit card, it’s a dangerous thing,” he said. “So let’s be really understanding how you’re going to manage this so that it doesn’t get out of control.”

3. Don’t compare yourself to others

Jones often compares his journey to his parents’. They became homeowners in their mid-twenties while working in the restaurant industry. But that type of comparison isn’t helpful, Hankins said.

“It’s not a reflection on you that you haven’t been able to achieve what your parents achieved,” Hankins said. “They were operating under a whole different set of rules.”

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The Associated Press receives support from Charles Schwab Foundation for educational and explanatory reporting to improve financial literacy. The independent foundation is separate from Charles Schwab and Co. Inc. The AP is solely responsible for its journalism.

How can I illustrate our financial position to a spouse who shows little interest?

Reader question: My spouse has little interest in our financial position. As we age, this concerns me. I try to share some basic information (income, spending, account balances, debt, and so on) each month but rarely get a response. I think graphs or charts might be of more interest to her than a bunch of numbers. What recommendations would you have for illustrating our financial position so that I am not the only person aware of how we are situated? Thanks! Answer: Your situation is pretty common. Most couples I know develop a division of labor over time, where one person is in charge of financial matters and the other person is less involved. That’s definitely the case for my husband and me. He’s in charge of paying all the monthly bills and preparing our tax returns, but the financial planning and investment decisions are up to me. This type of arrangement might work well for a long time, but can become less sustainable with age, particularly if the “finance person” in the relationship dies or develops a major health issue. Online tools and mind maps Illustrating your financial situation with charts and graphs is a great idea that might help your spouse become a little more involved. Morningstar’s  Portfolio X-Ray  tool includes a variety of images that help illustrate your financial situation. Websites for most major brokerage firms also include some visual tools. Schwab, for example, offers a Portfolio Checkup and a bar graph illustrating your account’s monthly income from dividends and interest income. Vanguard has a Portfolio Watch tool and a variety of performance illustrations, tools, and calculators.
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