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Always tired? Leaving your ‘loops’ open may be the unexpected cause

(CNN) — The texts you’ve ignored, the vacation supplies you still need to order, the hard conversation you’ve been avoiding — repeatedly putting off such tasks because they feel too daunting may seem relatively harmless. But the constant mental hum of unfinished business may be more draining than you realize — like your laptop slowing and glitching because you have 90 browser tabs open.

Some people are waking up to that reality, sharing on social media and in podcasts their epiphanies about the countless open “loops” in their lives in need of closing. The buzzy phrase helps them more easily recognize and combat the habit.

As New Yorker Florence Friebe learned about open loops, she began to see the pattern in her own life — for example, via a hole in her jacket pocket that she kept neglecting to fix and remembered every time she dropped her keys or phone into it.

“I could really start seeing how many repetitive thoughts I was carrying, and how much space it was taking,” added Friebe, cohost of the podcast “2 Curly Haired Girls With ADHD” — referring not only to the effects of procrastinating on fixing her jacket pocket but also on cleaning and work tasks.

Psychologists who study procrastination say these people are right to address these issues.

The inertia comes from perceiving “the ‘cost’ of doing the task in terms of time, energy, and emotional fatigue,” said Dr. Vara Saripalli, a clinical psychologist in private practice in Chicago, via email. “They aren’t thinking about the other negatives that ensue from waiting; they’re focused on the present and avoiding unpleasantness in the here and now.”

But as Friebe learned, avoidance also can be highly costly, both practically and by taking up energy that could be used for other things, Saripalli added.

Procrastination and chronic stress can eventually take a toll on both your mental and physical health, said Dr. Fuschia Sirois, professor of social and health psychology at Durham University in England. Sirois, a procrastination expert who has been studying the issue for 25 years, is also the author of “Procrastination: What It Is, Why It’s a Problem, and What You Can Do About It.”

Those impacts include causing or contributing to a weakened immune system, chronic disease, anxiety and digestive issues, low self-esteem and loneliness, Sirois added.

For Lanna, a content creator and Pilates instructor in Germany, procrastination-related worries even caused stomachaches, she said. Lanna requested that CNN use her nickname for privacy.

But for many people, awareness of these impacts doesn’t always make taking action easier.

Understanding why you procrastinate

For generally healthy people, habitual procrastination typically boils down to two causes, even if the details differ per individual, experts said: negative emotions associated with certain tasks or with the prospect of those tasks not going well.

Maybe you’re delaying replying to a text because you haven’t figured out a perfect response, and you have complicated feelings around imperfection. Or maybe you’re avoiding a serious talk with a friend because you’re people-pleasing or worried you’ll be hurt. (You can read more about procrastination “styles” and related tips here.)

Procrastinating on relatively minor things sometimes may stem from a broader societal shift Saripalli has noticed, in which people are less comfortable with finality and losing options, she said. “The simple task of returning a package becomes an internal monologue of, ‘What if I change my mind and I can’t get this item again? I’m better off holding on to it till I’m sure.’”

On the other hand, you may just have too many responsibilities and need to consider which ones you can forgo. Maybe you’re exhausted by other commitments or spending too much time on your phone, which can be a distraction and energy zapper.

Or maybe the cause of your procrastination is more complicated. If you’re struggling to overcome procrastination on your own, consider seeing a doctor or therapist to determine whether there’s a more serious underlying issue, Sirois said — such as depression, ADHD or an anxiety disorder.

These disorders can make one’s tolerance of negative feelings about a task much lower, Sirois added. That, as well as other symptoms, can contribute to people with these disorders being more prone to procrastinate.

In those cases, some coping strategies can help, but they don’t cure disorders or replace professional assistance, Sirois said.

That was true for Lanna, who said she has ADHD and autism, and for Friebe. Friebe said she realized that her struggles with procrastination were significantly tied to her ADHD, depression and polyendocrine metabolic ovarian syndrome, or PMOS.

“It was almost like I was lacking ingredients,” Friebe said. “Once I got diagnosed, it felt like a giant relief.”

Turning awareness into action

Awareness of your urges to procrastinate and of the likely consequences can sometimes be enough to help you regulate your emotions, then choose differently.

But some people such as Friebe and Lanna have also sought professional help for their conditions and improved their lifestyle habits. These changes have given them more energy and the confidence to be more efficient.

Seeing a therapist can really be helpful for anyone regardless of whether you have a condition since they can help you deal with pessimistic ideas causing procrastination. Sirois recently released a free, online evidence-based tool kit for that purpose.

Now Friebe schedules free time to tackle whatever tasks she’s got at the moment. Doing a job little by little — or styling to-do list tasks that way — has been more effective than anticipating it with the all-or-nothing thinking that can make responsibilities feel daunting. What also helps Lanna is doing activities that rejuvenate her.

And Friebe really means little, even if that feels stupid, she said. She referred to a story she heard of people who wanted to start exercising at a gym driving to the gym, as they were, on the days they had said they wanted to work out — but not going inside.

The next time, those people also put on workout clothes before driving. Next, they went to the gym in their outfits and exercised for only five minutes. “What they were actually building was trust that they were reliable, that they could do it, so then it could accumulate,” Friebe said. “Before you knew it, they were working out.”

Studies support the effectiveness of such gradual habit-building.

Guilt and shame are the two most common emotions people feel when they procrastinate, Sirois said, which compound the problem and further paralyze you — even though taking action would alleviate all those negative feelings. “Being self-compassionate is actually a more effective way to get oneself back on track,” she added.

Acknowledge that you’re struggling and what you’re feeling, and ask yourself whether the situation at hand will really be that bad. “Often, we anticipate things are going to be much worse than what they are,” Sirois said. Even if your attempts don’t go well, trust that you can learn how to navigate the fallout and be OK.

Also try to find the meaning in different responsibilities, those interviewed recommended. If you’re delaying cleaning your room and beating yourself up about whether your roommate is judging you for the mess, think about the fact that you deserve a clean, cozy space.

Friebe and Lanna consider how productivity might bring them closer to their life purpose or the person they want to be. And if a heart-to-heart goes poorly, even then, the meaning can be that you grew in your ability to handle conflict, and that you have the truth about the relationship and can act accordingly.

If you’re avoiding scheduling a doctor’s appointment because you don’t want to hear their feedback, your health issue exists regardless. So why not get some answers and prevent your problem from worsening? Regardless of the task, think of how relaxed you’ll feel and how much time you’ll free up for other fun things if you just get it done.

Since Friebe has improved her health and learned what strategies work for her, “the way I speak to myself is completely different,” she said.

“I have a better sense of self and identity and self-trust,” Friebe added. “My entire life has changed. I’m a different person.”

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Sean Grayson, former Sangamon County deputy convicted in killing of Sonya Massey, dies in prison, attorney says

Click here for updates on this story    Illinois (WBBM) -- Sean Grayson, the former Sangamon County sheriff's deputy convicted of murdering Sonya Massey in her home in 2024, died on Sunday.Attorney Daniel L. Fultz, who served as Grayson's attorney, confirmed the news on Sunday.Grayson, 32, had been battling Stage 4 colon cancer, for which he was undergoing treatment.Grayson was found guilty last October of second-degree murder for the shooting of Sonya Massey and was serving a 20-year sentence in the Illinois Department of Corrections, which was to be followed by two years of mandatory supervised release.Last month, the Illinois Prisoner Review Board rejected Grayson's medical release request and ordered him to remain in prison, despite the application citing advanced colon cancer.CBS News Chicago has reached out to the Department of Corrections, but has yet to hear back.Ben Crump and Antonio Romanucci, the attorneys for Massey's family, responded to Grayson's death in a statement saying, in part, "Grayson's death in custody from cancer does not bring Sonya back. We wish his family prayers of peace, as we do for all who grieve a loved one. Sonya's family knows that pain all too well and will grieve her loss the rest of their days." What happened in the Sonya Massey shooting? In July 2024, 36-year-old Massey called police for help for a possible prowler outside her home. Grayson, along with another officer, responded to her home and spoke with her. While inside the home, Grayson said Massey began acting erratically and saying that she rebuked him "in the name of Jesus" while walking toward a pot of water on her stove. Bodycam video from Grayson's partner captured the moment he shot Massey, who died of a gunshot wound. Grayson's body camera was not activated for most of the call, only turning on shortly after he pulled his weapon.In the bodycam video, while Massey is holding the pot of water, Grayson is heard saying: "You'd better f***ing not. I swear to God, I'll f***ing shoot you right in your f***ing face."He then raises his gun and yells at Massey to "drop the f***ing pot!"Massey apologizes and ducks for cover, at which point Grayson shoots her, according to prosecutors. Three shots are heard in the video.Grayson's former partner, Dawson Farley, testified during the trial that he was not afraid of Massey during the call, but instead feared Grayson. Farley told the jury that, while he was confused after Massey said "I rebuke you in the name of Jesus," he never perceived that as a threat. He added he only unholstered his gun because Grayson did.Please note: This story was provided to CNN Wire by an affiliate and does not contain original CNN reporting. This content carries a strict local market embargo. If you share the same market as the contributor of this article, you may not use it on any platform.
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