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Book excerpt: ‘The Let Them Theory’ by Mel Robbins

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Hay House

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Mel Robbins’ podcasts, TED Talk and bestselling books, including “The 5 Second Rule,” have made her one of the most successful motivational speakers.

In her latest bestseller, “The Let Them Theory” (Hay House), she discusses how personal growth is only possible when you stop pouring energy into things you cannot control – which includes changing other people.

Read an excerpt below, and don’t miss Norah O’Donnell’s conversation with Mel Robbins on “CBS Sunday Morning” February 1!

“The Let Them Theory” by Mel Robbins

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I’ve spent the last two years researching the Let Them Theory: why it works, and how you can use it to transform your life and improve your relationships with other people.

In writing this book, I’ve spoken to many of the world’s leading experts in psychology, neuroscience, behavioral science, relationships, stress, and happiness. You’ll meet them as you read the book, and their research will help you apply the theory in countless situations in your life. As you’ll soon see, the science is clear: This thing works. And it works really well.

But this book isn’t just about introducing you to the Let Them Theory. It’s about a fundamental law of human nature: All human beings have a hardwired need for control.

We all have an innate desire to control everything about our lives: our time, our thoughts, our actions, our environment, our plans, our future, our decisions, and our surroundings. Feeling in control makes you feel comfortable and safe, so naturally you try to control everyone and everything around you—oftentimes, without even realizing it. 

But the fact is, there is one thing you will never be able to control. No matter how hard you try, you will never be able to control or change another person. The only person you are in control of is you. Your thoughts, your actions, your feelings.

For too long you’ve been working against this fundamental law of human nature. You’ve been fighting to change people, battling to control situations, worrying about what people say, think, or do; and in doing so, you’ve created unnecessary stress, tension, and friction for yourself and in your relationships. I did too.

The Let Them Theory has transformed my entire approach to life and how I deal with other people. Instead of resisting the natural flow of human nature, I learned to embrace it. Instead of wasting my energy on something I can’t control—what others say, think, and do—I poured my energy into what I can control: me.

The result? I gained more control over my own life than I have ever had before. It was freeing. I stopped making other people the problem, and in doing so, my relationships improved in ways I never thought possible. It was like unlocking a door that had been sealed shut for years. And behind it? A life where I’m no longer weighed down by the need to manage other people.

In the coming pages, you’ll learn all about the theory, the easiest way to start using it, and how awesome it feels when you do. You’ll also learn about a surprising discovery I made early in our research. The Let Them Theory isn’t just … Let Them. Yes, it begins with these two words, but that’s not the whole story. Let Them is just the first half of the equation. There is a second, even more crucial step to this theory: Let Me.

In the next chapter, we’ll unpack both Let Them and Let Me and explore the science and psychology behind each one of the two steps. Then, you’ll learn about the eight core areas of your life where the theory will have the biggest positive impact. We’ll talk about your relationships, career, emotions, opinions, stress, love life, struggles, chronic comparison, friendship, and most importantly, your relationship with yourself. 

Over and over, you’ll learn how you’ve been trying to control the wrong things and unknowingly made other people a problem. The truth is, other people should be one of the greatest sources of happiness, support, and love in your life. But they can’t be if you keep trying to control what they feel, say, and do. That ends with this book.

Master the Let Them Theory, and you’ll stop exhausting yourself trying to control the uncontrollable. This isn’t just about feeling better. It’s about redesigning how you live your entire life. I can’t wait for you to discover the space and freedom to experience your life the way you’ve always wanted—on your terms.

Let’s begin.

     
From “The Let Them Theory” by Mel Robbins. Copyright © 2024 by Mel Robbins. All rights reserved. This excerpt, or any parts thereof, may not be reproduced without permission.

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“The Let Them Theory” by Mel Robbins

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Republican senators release Fauci’s text messages discussing safety of Covid vaccine and pregnancy

By CNN
(CNN) — Two Republican senators have released the first batch of text messages retrieved from Dr. Anthony Fauci’s former government phone as part of an investigation into his leadership and actions during the Covid-19 pandemic – including messages in which he discusses the possible risks and safety of the vaccine during pregnancy.Sens. Ron Johnson of Wisconsin and Rand Paul of Kentucky released the texts publicly online Monday, after the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) provided Fauci’s iPhone to a Senate subcommittee investigating him.The phone contained more than 34,000 messages and 522 voicemails, said the senators in a news release. They published screenshots showing a fraction of these – 11 texts sent during Fauci’s tenure as director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID).In one exchange on January 25, 2021, Vivek Murthy, then a member of President Joe Biden’s Covid advisory board, asked about any potential risk to those who are pregnant, or whether Fauci knew of any “data or theoretical reason why vaccinating early vs late in pregnancy would be preferred.”Fauci responded that there was “no data or theoretical reason to believe that vaccinating early versus later in pregnancy would be preferred.”Then he added: “Since many people have significant cytokines storm and fever after the 2nd dose, this theoretically could be associated with miscarriage in the 1st trimester.”Dr. Rochelle Walensky, then-director of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), replied, “Definitely a good point, esp after dose two.”In another exchange a day later, according to the screenshots released, Fauci said that any vaccine with limited data on pregnancy should be carefully considered. “One must weigh the potential risks against the benefits,” he wrote, pointing out that a Covid infection could be “especially” serious in pregnancy.Though pregnant individuals were not included in vaccine trials, more than 10,000 had been vaccinated since the government issued an Emergency Use Authorization for the vaccine – and “no issues have arisen,” he wrote in a text.CNN has reached out to Fauci, Murthy and Walensky for comment.The CDC formally recommended on August 11, 2021, that pregnant people receive the vaccine after analyzing data and finding no increased risks of miscarriage or other safety concerns related to the shot.The CDC also warned during the pandemic that pregnant people were more likely to get severely ill compared to those who were not pregnant, according to an archived page from the agency’s website.Studies have since shown that the vaccines were safe during pregnancy, and that serious adverse reactions are rare. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists still recommends, as of this spring, that individuals who are pregnant or will be pregnant during the fall or winter should receive annual Covid-19 vaccines.In a news release, Johnson and Paul said their staff were reviewing the rest of the information on Fauci’s phone, and would publicly release them “as soon as possible.” The texts released on Monday “could have an immediate impact of public health and the principle of informed consent,” they said.The news release also listed several further public statements made by Fauci and other health officials in the months following the text exchange, recommending pregnant people receive Covid-19 vaccines.Battles on the HillPaul, who chairs the full Senate Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee, has long clashed with Fauci, who he subpoenaed in June to appear before Congress.He and other prominent Republicans accuse Fauci of covering up the origins of the pandemic, and of lying and misrepresenting data during the Covid-19 response – though they’ve yet to present clear evidence of such an alleged cover-up.Republican members of the Senate subcommittee voted last week to hold Fauci in contempt of Congress after he invoked the Fifth Amendment more than 100 times in a hearing, refusing to answer questions over concerns his responses would be used in an attempt to bring charges against him.Ahead of that hearing, the committee also released more than 1,100 pages of Fauci’s personal diary from 2019 to 2022.Neither HHS nor Paul’s committee alerted Fauci ahead of time that they had obtained his diary and that they planned to publish it in full, according to a person familiar with the matter.The diary entries narrated Fauci’s growing concerns about Covid-19, frustrations with the government response and conflicting relationships with both Trump and Biden administration officials.The-CNN-Wire™ & © 2026 Cable News Network, Inc., a Warner Bros. Discovery Company. All rights reserved.
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