There’s an old newspaper joke that a dog biting someone isn’t news, but if a man bites a dog, now we’re talking.
That’s precisely what happened in Virginia’s Fairfax County on Sunday evening.
“It’s pretty unbelievable,” Chief Kevin Davis said during a news conference. “I mean I’m sure we’ve all heard the old joke, but you don’t expect it to actually happen.”
According to authorities, homeowner Alan White, 42, had polished off “almost an entire 12-pack” of Natty Ice. And at some point pounced on the family’s four-year-old Golden Retriever, Max, and sank his teeth into the dog.
White’s wife heard the violent commotion and called 911.
And then since nobody can speak dog, the cause of the sudden attack is a mystery.
Police took White into custody, where he remains as of Monday afternoon.
Charges are pending, but animal cruelty is being eyed as the first of several.
We’re told the dog was not seriously injured and is “a very Good Boy.”