Valentine’s Day can be much more than flowers, chocolate and kisses.
Parents can use the holiday to start a conversation about healthy relationships with their child, preteen or teen.
“For many young people it can be a time that’s exciting, but also just filled with a lot of pressure and confusion,” Dr. Anisha Abraham, chief of the Division of Adolescent Medicine at Children’s National Hospital in D.C. told WTOP.
Moms and dads should be living examples for their children, and make clear that each person in a relationship should feel supported, Abraham said.
“It should be something where both people feel safe (and) that their boundaries are respected. If there’s conflict or disagreements or differences in opinion, that it’s done without someone feeling like they’re being intimidated or manipulated.”
When your child experiences their first crush, don’t dismiss their feelings. “Sometimes people can be disappointed that their first crush isn’t validated,” Abraham said. Her advice is to be open at that vulnerable time, and really listen to your child.
There are signs to look for that may indicate your child is having relationship trouble, she said. “Changes in their mood, or changes in their grades or withdrawing from activities, those can be red flags that something might be happening either online or in person.”
If you think your child is in an unhealthy relationship, should you let things play out, or try to break it up?
“Many times as parents and caregivers we’re there to listen, we’re there to support. We may not be able to control those relationships completely,” Abraham said. “Certainly, if there are … concerns that someone is being controlled or manipulated or bullied, those might be times where a parent does want to step in.”
There are some situations in which Abraham encourages parents and teens to contact a health care professional.
“If for any reason a young person is struggling, they’re having challenges, they’re not feeling good about themselves, there’s concerns they might be depressed or anxious, these are important times to reach out,” she said.